Author's Blog

Announcing a brand spankin' new Blog!

I know, I know you are saying, "But you don't keep the one you HAVE up-to-date enough. Geez, why would you start ANOTHER ONE?"

Well, because I have high hopes and ambitions and dreams and plans to become a ridiculously famous author. Or of, at the least, writing a few more books which my six friends can read and giggle over in depths of their cars and reading hidey-holes.

So with that in mind, I've re-posted all of my writing posts of my journey thus far (which have also been on this blog) to my new site at Lisa Medley . The new site will only be about literary pursuits; writing, blogging, reading. This site will remain all inclusive.

Here you'll get the writing bits but also the cute / demonic pet photos, stupid family tricks, travels, mishaps and everything in between.

Thanks for reading and spread the word!

TTAM2 = Things That Annoy Me Part 2

Hi, my name is Lisa and it's been 17 days since I posted the first TTAM post. I'm not sure that bodes well for my patience. Obviously, this proves I am too easily annoyed. I blame it on pre-pre-menopause.

So here's the list:

Ten Things That Annoy Me since March 8 in no particular order of annoyance:

1. Trains. This train above in particular. On the one hand it's all cool and nostalgic to see and hear a train running through your very own tiny rural town. On the other hand, it's a pain in the keister when you are in a hurry. Those trains are long. And slow. And annoying.

2. Smoking. By anyone, anywhere, ever. Yeah, yeah it's your right to kill yourself slowly and painfully but don't take me with you. Also, it gives me a banging headache.

3. Returns. I hate having to return anything to any store. Even when I have the receipt and I know some uppity store clerk is not going to hassle me. I especially hate returning things that didn't work directly out of the package. Like the digital thermometer I bought at Wally World that has ONE button on it to push to turn the thing on. Did it work? No. It did not. Back to Customer Service I had to go.

4. Rude Car Drivers. Especially those who do not acknowledge my supremely magnanimous generosity when I let them into traffic in front of me even though they've been a douche and have not been paying attention to the obvious signs and traffic directions.

5. Companies I Have To Deal With. Mostly those who will not let ME access our accounts because the don't have BOTH of our names on them. Whatever. If they want my money, they'd best let me take care of things because Bryon has no idea what the passwords are or where to even find the websites. If I fall off the planet tomorrow, they are so screwed.

6. One Square. That Seinfeld episode was so great. The one where Elaine asked the lady in the stall beside her if she could spare a square when she realized her toilet paper dispenser was out of paper. Honestly, one square is not nearly enough, but when there are no squares...one is wonderful. If you use the last square, tell someone who can take care of it. Because if I don't have a square, someone will receive my wrath.


7. Pay At The Pump Receipts That Don't Print. Frankly, if I do not want to schlep the fifteen steps into your store for a receipt. Refill the dang printer paper on the pump. Don't ask if I want a freakin' receipt if you aren't prepared to deliver it.

8. The Chairs At Barnes & Noble.  I have a love/hate relationship with Barnes & Noble as it is. I feel like they basically crushed my true love, Borders, and ran them to bankruptcy. B&N is the only substantial bookstore/coffee shop in town so if I want to peruse new books with a cafe mocha in my hand, that's the place I have to go. They are not loiter friendly. The chairs are purposefully uncomfortable and few. If you aren't lucky enough to sit with the A Listers in the cafe, you're relegated to sitting with your back to the Glenstone Street window and facing a row of puzzle boxes. There isn't even anything to put your feet up on. AND they took the only two soft chairs out and replaced them with Sunday church pew-hard arm chairs.

I suppose we should be happy they have arms to balance our cafe mochas on. Honestly those soft chairs weren't the prize I thought they'd be anyway. One day I finally scored one. I immediately sank to the bottom of it and landed on a hard board and the chair smelled funky. NOT a good funky. A few times I've had to cruise the cafe and the row of Glenstone misfits like a vulture until someone finally bugs out. Friday I finally scored a Glenstone chair only to notice the not so subtle hint of dead mouse wafting from the wall behind me. Foiled again.

9. My Dog. Almost constantly.

10. Unreliable Bloggers. Especially those who wait 10 days between posts. Who can trust them?

Uncle

I give.

I am not Superwoman.

I've really struggled posting every day, and I've decided to quit. I'm not going to quit blogging, but I am going to stop posting everyday. It's just too hard to keep up with it and do anything else. Maybe I'll still get in 365 posts before the year is up. Maybe not. But I am relieved to let the burden of it go.

Don't worry, you'll still get the good stuff. Probably better stuff actually.

I've made it through the first hundred pages of edits on my book, so I'm a third of the way. I've also rewritten the first two chapters now for the third time. It may get still another makeover (probably several more). Hopefully, I'm making it better and not just replowing the same earth.

Monday night is the first of four writing workshops, and I'm excited to attend. They cover point of view and dialogue, characterization and conflict, plotting and show don't tell. I suspect I'll learn more in those four sessions than I did in four years of college. Of course, I'm differently motivated now. That helps.

So there you are. Don't be bummed. I won't forget about you. Be sure and signup for post emails at the top right of the page if you want to get them in your inbox instead of just guessing when I might post next.  You have to respond to the first email you'll get after you sign up to confirm your address and begin receiving the posts.

Let me know if you have trouble, and I'll try to help you out.

Thanks for your support so far.

Post Whine & Blogging Notes

I have wanted to quit posting daily about three times this week, and I've only made it two months. This makes the 64th post because I had a couple of bonus posts thrown in there for kicks when I was feeling flush. This week has been a struggle. I've been grumpy and nothing has seemed all that post worthy.

I don't like to be a quitter, but man, it's getting more difficult.

The only thing that's kept me going is that I am excited that more and more people have been finding my blog. I'm also a little disappointed because my bounce rate has been high. Until two weeks ago, I didn't even know what bounce rate was.

Bounce rate means something got someone to the blog, like a specific search term, and when they got here, they realized it was not what they expected. They bounced or left immediately and didn't stick around to check things out.

I think my catchy titles are the culprit. Also, I steal a lot of the images from Google Images, and I think that sometimes leads them here. I know it leads me to their pages so I suspect I am bouncing of other people's blogs the same way.

Just last week I discovered Google Analytics which is totally cool and awesome and depressing all at the same time. It's free. You register your blog and they analyze your blog traffic six ways to Sunday. I am not naturally analytic but I sure do like to see where, how and what people are doing when they come to my blog. Don't worry, there's no specific information. I can't tell who you are.

I've learned a lot about blogs and blog traffic this past week. More than you'll probably ever want to know. My post last week, The Helpful Gene, is really getting lots of page views. My all time most viewed though is still A Penny Saved... I think folks find it and think it's a way to get through these hard economic times. Not so much really, it's actually about my first car and Grace's efforts to save for one of her own.

One thing I would like to start doing is taking more of my own pics for the posts. I think that might cut down on the random bouncing. Honestly, I don't know if I'll make it an entire year. I'm getting squishy. Right now, another entire month seems pretty impossible.

Feel free to offer up topics if you are so inclined, because frankly, I could use the help.

These would be your rock days my friend.

The Helpful Gene

I can't help but be helpful.

Or nosy and overbearing, depending on your perspective. From my perspective, I am helpful.

Helpful = Right

Case in point: Friday afternoon at Barnes & Noble, I overheard a lady talking to her husband. They were one table over from mine.

Lady: We need to get involved in a CSA.
Husband: A what?
Lady: A CSA.
Husband: What the hell is a CSA?
Lady: Well, uh, it's ... just a minute ... it's in this book ...

Lady struggles to find what CSA stands for.

Me: Community Supported Agriculture
Lady: Yeah! That!

See, that was helpful. I did manage to just shut up after that and not pummel her with my plethora of information on CSA's and the the fact that a friend of mine is actually starting one and in the process of signing folks up for it right now! It was excruciating to shut up. If she had given me any indication that she would like to mine me for more information, I would have vomited CSA all over her.

It's a curse really.

As you can tell on this blog, I'm prone to the occasional (okay daily) over-share.  I can't just stop with the Reader's Digest version either. The problem is that most of the time even while I'm spewing forth all of this sage advice, I am realizing I'm making absolutely no sense and randomly flinging facts and info at people.

It's even worse when I see a need somewhere that I could fill if only I were so inclined. For example, a couple of people have asked me about blogging, and how to do it. It's easy. You can set up a free blog in minutes. It's the kind of thing that I think lots of folks would be interested in starting.

Here is another example of my helpful gene on overload. Just the other day as I was trolling Facebook, I came across this Webster County Library post:

I couldn't let it go without a comment ... and a plug for the blog. Then I got to thinking, I bet those Adult Journalers would really dig learning how to blog online. I could call the library and set up a time for a class and get them all signed up and on board the blogging train. Then I thought, Am I insane? I don't have time to do the things I need and want to do right now. 

I didn't call the library. But I still think it would be a good idea. This happens dozens of time a week. I offer unsolicited advice or dispense information (immediately helpful if not appreciated) and think of spectacularly good ideas that would be supremely helpful to others. Then I get home and do the laundry, fix dinner, watch my DVR'd shows and the inspiration to help others evaporates. Poof!

It brings to mind the quote, "God helps those who help themselves". Which I was pretty sure was a Bible quote, but apparently is not. (See helpful link to the Wikipedia page for your reading pleasure) Still, I think it's helpful, if not a little selfish.

My dilemma is this; if I CAN help, MUST I help? Because I've often got a good dose of Catholic guilt about such things which is ironic because I'm a Methodist.  Some things are just universal I suppose.  Maybe I just need a better personal filter so I don't have to feel guilty about not acting on every good idea. I wonder if you can get one of those on Amazon?

Now that would be helpful.

Online Alzheimer's

All characters appearing in this work are not fictitious. 

Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is no coincidence. 

Sometimes I feel like I have online Alzheimer's. These days between Facebook and blogging, tweeting and meeting people in real life, I forget who I've told what. Just another reason I make a terrible liar. I never know who has read my blog and who hasn't. So I'm pretty sure I'm repeating myself more times than not.

I suppose my friends think I've morphed into one of those annoying long married spouses who just keep retelling the same dozen glory days stories over and over. If they were good the first six dozen times around, they are good enough to retell again.

Stop me if you've heard this one:

Phone rings. Conversation with my Mom progresses. 

Mom: Brenda {her sister} called me to ask if I had seen the article in the paper about the symptoms of Alzheimer's.
Me: Yeah, was that in Bolivar paper?
Mom: Yes, I read through them. I had all of them except two!
Me: Which two?
Mom: I don't remember.

See, it's hereditary. I have become my mother.

That's not a bad thing. I'm just saying: Apple ... Tree.

I've mentioned before that I'm not a good oral storyteller. I need the time and luxury of seeing and then massaging the words until they make the most sense. When I try to tell a story out loud, it basically comes out like something closer to a seven year old's knock knock joke. All the elements might be there, but they get them jumbled up and in they end make no sense. The punch line is ruined.

One thing I do know is that I can't keep anything inside. Especially if it's funny to me. So if you do something ridiculous or funny in my presence, you have a good chance of making the blog. Especially now that we are halfway through month two. Today was especially tough to come up with something as you can probably tell by this struggling post. Today would be your rock.

Also, just so we are clear, by being my friend or family you are agreeing by proxy to an implied contract that all actions, words or odd quirks you may have, can and will be exploited as blog fodder. 

You have been warned.

Thanks Mom ;)

Pageview Record! Bonus Post

 Wow! Yesterday was a big day for pageviews AND the blog broke the 10,000 pageview mark! Woo Hoo! There were 1,065 of you in the past 30 days. That's amazing to me. Thanks for reading. I hope you like it.

One of my loyal readers pointed out recently, that this year I'll have to post 366 posts because it's Leap Year. Eeek! That's a lot of posts my friends. Watching the pageviews grow is inspiring though, so like the Little Engine That Could, I'll keep puffing along.

If you haven't subscribed by email, it's an easy way to get new posts each day in your inbox. You won't get any other mail from me, just the posts. Sign up in the box at the top right of this page. You'll get a confirmation email to verify you want to receive the posts. Reply to it, and you are all set!

Share my link on Facebook or with your friends if you think they might like knowing what's going on in the Big Cedars.

Thanks for reading :)

Editorial Errors

Okay, first off I want to apologize. I've been happily blogging along for some time now. Regardless of  how many times I read, reread, proofread my posts, the second I read it AFTER it's posted, I start finding errors.

It's embarrassing. I know how to spell. If I didn't this wonderful little program into which I create these works of literary art would bedazzle said words with a little squiggly line under my sketchy bits so I can be alerted and reconsider whether or not I really wanted to thhype that word. Or TYPE that word. See, I just totally ignored that squiggly and look what happened. A typo.

Word 2010 also alerts me to grammatical errors. Sometimes though, those errors are not really errors. I meant to do that. For effect. Other times, Word and this blog editor just totally bail on me and leave me hanging. As a result, you get a poor usage of the word THERE when I should have said THEIR. Seriously people, I know the difference. I utilized buckets of red ink during my three long dog years of teaching English to high school kids and correcting that very error.

My problem is not ignorance of grammar and spelling or even typing. My problem is my complete disregard for detail and a totally blind eye to my glaring imperfections. Maybe it's God's way of keeping me going. Maybe I'm just lazy. Maybe the type on this tiny netbook screen is growing smaller and smaller by the second and is almost down to 5 point type now and my 43 year old eyes are giving up. See there, that was totally a run on sentence, but it had a good effect yes? You got the point. Too many details to take in and no desire to correct that mistake.

You should see the other guy. You should see what I DO correct. I read these posts in the editor pane before I post them. Then I send it to preview mode and read it again. I find lots of errors and correct them that way. Finally, I schedule it to post. It posts a day or two later and then I get the email in my inbox saying Life In The Big Cedars has a new post! Yippee! Way to go! Yay me!

Then I read it and find all these embarrassing errors and have no way to correct them on my 3 1/2 inch iPhone screen while I'm driving down the highway in BFE. So I have to wait until I have free WiFi somewhere, crank up the blog and fix them. But the damage is done. You've already read it! You already think, "Damn, why am I reading this hack? She doesn't even know the difference in there and their.'" Rest assured I do know the difference.

I just really, really need a living breathing editor.

I apologize to any of you that I have corrected or judged in the past.

Editors feel free to apply. 

The rest of you feel free to offer corrections in the comments section below. We can make it a game. Think of it as our own little personal version of Where's Waldo.

Blogging in 2012

A blog is like a garden that you need to tend. If you don't water it, if you let the weeds grow up, if you just plant the seeds and then forget about it: nothing will grow there. Or if something does manage to grow, it won't be what you expected.

Here is my blog book for 2011. I ordered it a little early because there was a sale, so it goes from Jan. 1- Nov. 30, 2011. Next year's book will start Dec. 1. It goes against my sense of organization and completion but totally agrees with my sense of a good deal being had.  I felt like I blogged a lot in 2011.

I have been blogging since June of 2007. The first year I had only 49 posts. In 2008 I had 113 posts, 2009 115 posts and in 2010 I had 79 posts. 2010 was a long eventful but ultimately unbloggable year with all that was going on with Bryon's job. This year has been awesome. If I hadn't blogged so much in October though, I wouldn't have had very many posts. For 2011 I'm at 87 posts so far. I'll get a few more in before the time ticks down.

This year I'm going to really concentrate on my blog. I know a few of you guys out there read it every time I post. I think that's cool. It's very personally satisfying to see those page views increase. Since the month of October when I blogged every day, my monthly page views have gone from 200-300 in a month to 800 in the past 30 days.

That is AWESOME!

I'm not saying I'm some robed sage to be followed. I'll just be continuing on as usual, telling you stories about life in the Big Cedars, my family, preserving some of the stories about Bryon and my childhoods, our courtship, and our marriage for Grace and writing about the various and sundry other things that strike my fancy.

Things like writing. I'm still working on my novel. I started it in August so I don't feel like it's too stale yet or has been worked on a ridiculously long time and should be shoved into a drawer and forgotten. I'm still interested in it and still excited about it. I just need many, many more hours in the day to be able to work on it. I can't really accomplish much in fits and starts. I am looking forward to another Write-In day January 7 at the Creamery with the writing group (Ozark Romance Authors - ORA).

Maybe I can squeeze in a few more hours/days/minutes before then. At this point at least I don't have to reread the entire thing before I feel like I can sit down to work on it again. Those characters are like cousins I don't see very much but still remember what they've done during holiday dinners past. I at least know their story now.

Blogging is not as difficult as writing a novel but it still takes time in between cooking dinner, washing clothes, tending to kids, husband, animals, plants, sleep, reading ... you know how it is. You are doing the same things. I'm not promising a post a day because that will suck the joy out of it if it becomes a chore. I am promising I'll make an effort to post MORE.

I've been collecting a list of topics in my notes app on my new iPhone. Siri has been helping me ... when she isn't on crack that is and spewing forth nonsense.

Here's what I have (in no particular order) coming up in the next few posts to pique your interest...

A Walk In The Woods
Gift Giving
Coolest Apps in the Universe
Needless: How to be not so needy
Serial Killer: Why series books and shows turn me on
Product Loyalty
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?
Picky Eater
Amusement Parks & Memories of Vacations Past
Getting Religion
Old Timey Ways
Resolutions for 2012 - 12 Months of Projects
Oldies But Goodies

I'll keep working on more as they come to me.

For now, thanks for reading. You're swell.

And if you haven't subscribed by email, you should do it. Just fill in your email address at the top of the blog and you'll get my posts emailed to you. They also update on my Facebook page. Friend me and you'll never miss an episode. I can't promise there won't be any reruns though. I am my Mother's daughter. I have to search my own blog sometimes to make sure I'm not repeating myself :)

Life is Good in Big Cedars.

You like me. You really like me. - Day 27 of 31 Days of Blogging

Today, my blog hit a big milestone. Today, I exceeded 7,000 all time page hits since I started on June 7, 2007. The exact total as of this minute is 7,016 page views. I think that is pretty awesome. This post is number 438 and in the past 30 days I've had 600 page views. I guess more blogging equals more readers.

Thank you for reading my ramblings.

I can't really ever tell specifically who is reading unless someone comments or likes it on Facebook. I just know there have been page views. So if you DO read it, I'd like to know. I know that's a little needy but hey, it's nice to know once in a while YOU are out there. It's easy to comment. Just click where it says "comments" below and you can post your comment. Even if it's just an "I read you" that would be cool. You can post as "anonymous" of tell me who you are. I'd like to know.

Or if you are reading this on Facebook and just want to "Like" it that's cool too. You don't have to do it every post (unless you want to) but if you are EVER going to comment, please do it for this post. Then I won't bug you about it again. Promise.

Sometimes it's like my blog is a Voyager Golden Record, sent out into cyberspace to say HELLO in every earthly language just in case there is intelligent life out there. One interesting stat that Blogger provides is AUDIENCE. It doesn't give any specific information but tells what country the page views come from. Here is where my readers have been reading from since 2007.

Can you believe that? Twenty nine people in Iran have read my blog? That sure makes the world seem smaller to me. I haven't been anywhere to have my passport stamped, but my words, pages and my family has ... through this blog.

Another cool statistic is how many page views each post gets. And no, it doesn't count MY page views so I can't stack the ballot box and vote for myself. Here are the most viewed posts of all time. If you want to read any of them just use the search box at the top right of the blog and put in the title, it should pop right up.

Who knew that post about Grace saving money for her slug bug would have so many hits!

My mom is staying tonight and the next few days. Of course she reads the blog a lot. She asked if I was going to keep blogging every day after my 31 days are up. She gets up every morning and reads it like some people read the New York Times. My blog is cheaper though.

I told her I don't know. Blogging every day is hard work. Bryon would say I never run out of things to say, but seriously it takes an effort to come up with something blog worthy every day. When I was dating I used to wonder what in the world married people talked about. After a while you would think there just wouldn't be anything else to say. But of course there is. Maybe that's true with blogging too. Every day is a winding road that leads to somewhere right?

I guess I'll just work on documenting the journey.

Something About Nothing - Day 4 of 31 Days of Blogging

The Nothing Pitch - Seinfeld on You Tube ... Click Here To Watch

See, I told you this would happen. It's only day four and I have nothing to blog about. Every day is just not blog worthy. Today, I went to work, made a few stops, had lunch with my favorite contact person, came home and warmed up leftovers for Grace so we could rush off to her makeup soccer game in Marshfield. Then when I got home, again, I had to make a spaghetti casserole thing so I could take it the church dinner tomorrow night. I was supposed to make brownies too but then I spied the package cookies we had bought for the Sunday felllowship we skipped so, I'm taking those instead.

See, not blog worthy. Instead of a quality post you are getting a lame stream of consciousness spew.  I've been sitting here tonight trying to come up with something. I've got nothing. I asked Bryon for an idea. Bryon suggested I write about how great he is. Not too surprising really. He is pretty great but if I write too much about that his head will swell up and explode. I don't want to clean up the mess so what else you got for me?

He also suggested writing about nothing, like on Seinfeld. I told him that would be a very, very short post. Of course then I had to go to YouTube and find The Nothing Pitch and watch it. I have seen every single episode of Seinfeld so many times. A solution to pretty much all of life's problems can be found in a Seinfeld episode. They should make a book The Zen of Seinfeld. They probably already have. I should Google that...

See how it is... you start to write something about nothing and the next thing you know you're pinging all over the internet like a cosmic ADD maniac.

Sometimes I think just writing, anything, helps break loose more ideas. Creativity spawns creativity. I did no writing on my book today. I feel like I need a good long stretch of time to clean up my plot flaws and proofread before I can go on. I don't see how that is going to happen right now. 

I have been reading Stephen King's book On Writing and it's been very inspirational. I need all these little tricks and pushes of affirmation to keep myself motivated. Especially on days like this. When it seems like there is nothing to write about.

Okay, I'm going to stop complaining now. I'm starting to sound like Harry Potter complaining about homework in book five.

I'll try harder for tomorrow. Really, I will.