Sunday, February 21, 2010

Fun with dryer lint

Here is what happens when you leave your family alone for a week and they do laundry for you. They discover fun creatures out of dryer lint.

Bryon was folding up the clothes and Grace found this destroyed and linty former Kleenex? She told him it looked like a turkey. Sure enough.

They did a little embellishment and here it is!

A Map of the World

Grace came home Thursday with a map of her world so far. You'll see above it includes the holidays written over on the bottom left along with her favorite places as continents which include: the beach, Colorado, California, Missouri, USA, Africa, the Ocean and one I just can't make sense of.

Pretty creative I thought! I got out our Children's atlas and tried to show her some other places but she wasn't too interested, even though she did take the atlas to school the next day to show her teacher.

Take that Amerigo Vespucci, you ain't got squat.

Food Rules

Michael Pollan is an awesome journalist and author of now five extremely interesting books on food; where it's come from and where it's going. He has a short book out now called Food Rules and I'd like to share those rules with you. As a disclaimer, I have to tell you in full disclosure I DO NOT follow all these rules and infact consumed 6 Peeps and an entire row of Thin Mints this week. Those, in Mr. Pollan's eyes, are most assuredly NOT food. Still we three are inspiring to continue to do better, eat better and be better.

Food Rule #1 is:

Eat food.

"These days this is easier said than done," Pollan writes, "especially when seventeen thousand new products show up in the supermarket each year, all vying for your food dollars. But most of these items don't deserve to be called food - I call them edible foodlike substances. They're highly processed concoctions designed by food scientists, consisting mostly of ingredients derived from corn and soy that no normal person keeps in the pantry, and they contain chemical additives with which the human body has not been long acquainted. Today much of the challenge of eating well comes down to choosing real food and avoiding these industrial novelties."

Peeps are without question an "industrial novelty". Tasty yes, but NOT food.

Just start looking at the ingredient lists on your "food". You may be surprised AND disgusted. Or maybe not. Either way, a little knowledge is a good thing and a LOT of knowledge may save all our lives.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

But Wait, There's More.

If ever there was a personality profile for prospective infomercial targets, Grace would fit it. Every time she spends ANY amount of time watching television, she is enraptured with the virtues of all the "miracle" products available for sale on television.

I wish I could remember ALL the products she's parroted the virtues of to me and told me that we should try. What I do remember is KaBoom! She saw them clean that disgusting shower tile with one spray and swipe of the cloth which left it sparklingly white and said "Mama, that is AMAZING, you HAVE to try that!" " Look, you just spray it on and then wipe it off and it's sparkly". Uh, yeah, I have tried that actually and it was significantly less than sparkly and in fact pretty toxic smelling. But still.

Then between her birthday and Christmas there were the BENDAROOS. "Look Mama, you can make ANYTHING out of them. You just twist them and stick them together and you make things". Uh, yeah. I saw the Bendaroos at Walgreens and got her some for Christmas. They were $20. I should have ordered them from the television because THEN I would have gotten the "But Wait, There's More" 2 for one special.

Then there was Moon Sand. "Moon Sand," she told me, "is AMAZING, because it doesn't DRY OUT, EVER. You can leave it out and play with it and it doesn't dry OUT"

We got her some Moon Sand for Christmas too. It was pretty amazing. Also EXTREMELY MESSY and got EVERYWHERE, just as sand is apt to do. She has played with it once. I don't remind her about it because I don't want to clean it up. It is mercifully buried in her closet under a host of games, puzzles and sports equipment.

About 10 minutes ago, she came running down the stairs after watching "The Shaggy Dog" on some kids channel upstairs to tell me about an "AMAZING tooth paste holder". "You know," she says "how you roll the toothpaste up and it's IMPOSSIBLE?" "Well this thing, you just put the toothpaste in it and push the button and BOOP, there is the toothpaste, morning and night. It's AMAZING and I think it's only like a buck".

Please God, let her never learn of QVC and the power of the credit card.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

My Valentine

Bryon was a very sweet Valentine this year :) Grace spent the weekend with Nana so Friday night he fixed me lobster bisque, a heart shaped ribeye, lobster and roasted new potatoes with gorgonzola cheese. It was WONDERFUL. He also got me a massage which I get to go have on Monday.

Then we went upstairs and watched Zombieland.

Does it get much better than that?

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Is that a Quiver Critter in your pocket?

Bryon's latest Redneck Endeavor has been coyote hunting. Now, as of TODAY, no actual coyotes have been dispatched of, but he's been out several times "hunting" and now has some new toys (see above).

Our friend Chris has been borrowing a distressed rabbit call (some sort of machine that emits high pitched squeals) and they've gone out three or four times now. They like to go out after a big snow so they can track them better.

Now what they are going to DO with a bunch of dead coyotes, I have no idea.

For now though, I think the coyotes are pretty safe.

Beep, Beep.

The Island of Destroyed Things

Here you will find the SECOND dead armadillo in our yard since Ruger joined our family last February. I can't believe he's been here a year. It has been a LONG year.

Ruger is unlike ANY other dog we've ever had. He's a mess. He jumps on everyone and everything and is so stubborn he makes Briar (our dear old black lab who died the winter after we moved out here) look downright demure.

Ruger knocked Grace into the pond last week and is VERY LUCKY he is still pissing on the grounds right now. Luckily for him, he is still very cute and his owners have a a ridiculous sense of animal responsibility towards him or he would be so gone.

Above is his hunting and toy depository, otherwise known as the Island of Destroyed Things. This hump of ground in the front lawn was eventually supposed to become a flower bed, but I think that would be a foolish and fruitless endeavour at this point. For one, because Ruger is a complete an uncontrollable digging fiend and two because he has obviously already claimed it as HIS. You can't argue with a stubborn dog my friend.

He drags all sorts of things up onto that hump and proceeds to destroy them from his perch of dominion. We've lost two UPS packages near this vicinity as well. A neglected UPS package on the front porch is Ruger's gift from the gods. The first thing was actually made of stainless steel so it survived fairly well, the second package was the trampoline REPLACEMENT jumping mat. ( see if you don't know THAT story)

All I can say is that Ruger must have doggie angels looking out of for him, because luckily I found the package before he actually started destroying the contents. The box was toast, but the mat was untouched.

For my birthday last year, I bought hog panels and Bryon fenced the garden so we could keep the beast out. THAT was a good thing.

What Ruger doesn't know is that his days of rampant pawing and destoying our belongings are numbered because our neighbor is a retired vet tech and dog trainer and just as soon as the cast is off her broken leg, he's fixin to get a rude doggie training awakening.

Training (for him and us) is the only way that dog is going to survive until summer.