Saturday, January 28, 2012

Where Is My Spanish Jet Pack?

If you are of a certain age, say born in the late 60’s, then you, like me, might have been promised two things by your elementary teachers: the Spanish language was going to take over the world, and it wouldn’t be much longer before we would all be traveling by jet pack

The Spanish language has indeed infiltrated my local Walmart grocery isle and several of my favorite products are now multilingual. Unfortunately, the labels do not reflect the three words I remember from my high school Spanish classes twenty five years ago: burrito, dinero, baño.

I figured those three words would buy me a burrito and then direct me to a bathroom. I was golden. Spanish has not taken over the world. At least not my world here in the Midwest. If I had remained in journalism and had the opportunity to travel the nation and world, sure I might have finally picked up a little more Spanish. As it is, my three words have sufficed. Niangua is not very diverse. There is not much need for a second language after all. 

I think a second language is definitely a use it or lose it skill. I haven’t put any of those Spanish lessons to use in more than twenty five years. Sort of like algebra. Those teachers lied about that as well. I have not ever, knowingly used algebra. Good thing too since basic math pretty much already stretches my brain to its outer limits. 

As for jet packs, well that’s another disappointment.
Bryon and I have had a running joke about the jet packs for years because he too was promised a jet pack. We are both still on the waiting list. Every time we are somewhere and desperately want to be somewhere else, we despair on our lack of a jet pack. If ONLY we had a jet pack, we would be there by now! Damn the government for not providing our jet packs. 

I think this should be one of our President’s highest priorities. Newt Gingrich has already promised that by the end of his second term, if we choose HIM as President, he’ll establish a permanent American base on the moon. Newt is basically going to steal the moon. Like Gru in Despicable Me. Well, Newt, if you expect to accomplish that, let me suggest you start disseminating the jet packs a.s.a.p. Now THAT would be exciting. And it would make getting to that moon base camp a lot easier. 

I’m probably not going to vote for Newt, but I do vote for jet packs. 

I’ll be anxiously awaiting mine in my soon to be semi-weekly mail delivery.


  1. I hadn't thought about this in a long while, but yeah where the heck is my jet pack?? Furthermore, I remember quite a lot of talk about flying cars ... Still reading your blog even though I don't have time for mine anymore. Quite jealous of your novel writing. Keep it up so the rest of us frustrated, busy writers can live vicariously!


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