Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Shower of Shame

I love my shower. What I don't love is cleaning it.

I had a party of Sunday School ladies coming over last Sunday so as every good hostess should, I cleaned the house, and finally my shower. Cleaning the shower is difficult, and awkward and messy so I generally avoid it until I can actually SEE the gunk building up with my extremely nearsighted eyes.

Mercifully, most of the time I can't really see that well at all since wearing glasses in the shower is obviously problematic.

So Saturday, I spent a good part of the day cleaning, straightening and organizing pre party guests. Now, was one of those very nice Sunday School ladies going to be LOOKING in my shower? Not likely. And, if they did, well they would have gotten what they deserved right? But of course they wouldn't look.

Still, it was more than a little disturbing to go in there WITH my glasses and my full 20-20ish vision and take a good hands and knees look at things.

It was not a pretty sight.

I finally scraped off the last fins and tails and heads of the rubberized tropical no skid fish that had molded and mildewed onto the floor and by the time I was finished I had that sucker sparkling.

Of course, having a clean shower floor and NO rubberized tropical no skid fish glued to the floor creates it's own hazard. At least when it's dirty there is a little more traction.

I've seen some disgusting showers and mine is nowhere CLOSE to what is possible. I haven't actually seen her shower, but one of my friends has a death pact with her girlfriend that if she is to die suddenly and unexpectedly, the friend is to go IMMEDIATELY to her house and CLEAN HER SHOWER, so no one will ever discover her secret.

I think that is a great idea.

Who would like to be my death pact, shower cleaning friend? Perhaps we should just get a call list in place in the event of ALL of our deaths so someone could immediately take over and destroy the evidence of our showers of shame.

I have to say that once it IS clean. It's heavenly.

Grace sometimes gets to take showers back there but usually takes baths in her bathroom. Bryon has tried to get me to let her take showers with me, the whole kill two birds with one stone argument. But seriously, the only places I am ever ALONE anymore since becoming a parent are in my CAR when I'm WORKING or in my SHOWER and I'm not giving either one of them up.

For that 10 minutes, I have a little piece of heavenly peace and quiet. I don't think that is too much to ask.

Now, if only someone would clean it for me. The car too.

Life would be perfect.


  1. LOL Lisa!! I know what you mean!! I gnore mine till its reaches out and gets me!!
    I also understand the only 10 minutes alone! There are still times I go in and have a nice soak in the tub to get away from everyone!Lol I also enjoy time alone in the car..
    I was told the other day I was unsocial because of wanting my time alone?!?! I like to socialize and I love my family but I didnt realize I was unsocial! Most people that know me know better. This person has never really taken the time to know me and I am in her life permanently. I am mom to her only 3 grandkids! Lol
    Anyway she ceased offending me a long time ago..
    After cleaning my tub and shower I am always amazed at how WHite it is!!Lol

  2. Gosh, Lisa. I want someone to burn my whole house, not just my shower. Don't even go in---set it on fire from outside. lol As long as it is hot enough to get rid of some of the stuff like dirty dishes, old underwear, BIG dust bunnies, and the bathrooms, I guess that is good enough. Love reading your life. You need to write that book. Makes my life so boring. lol Give Gracy a kiss from Auntie Love u all. B


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