Changes

Tomorrow is the last day for Grace at First Kids. Wednesday morning she'll begin her school career at Niangua. She's going to be going to all day preschool there. They actually only have a 1/2 day program, morning and then afternoon, but have given permission for her to attend all day. We aren't sure what that means exactly for lunch time or "nap time". I'm thinking she just won't really have a nap time which will probably be okay with her even though she's still been taking a 2 hour nap every day at First Kids.

She's been pretty upset about it all. We've tried to prepare her telling her how fun it will be and exciting but we know it's scary to her too. She's been at First Kids since she was 12 weeks old and Miss Sandy (her absolute favorite teacher ever) has been there every morning of that time to greet her with a hug and smile.

Grace has been very emotional at bed time for the past few weeks. She's been crying a lot and says it's because she misses her friend Riley who left daycare in the spring to stay with her dairy farming daddy. We thought she was scared because she's been watching too much Scooby Doo. Grace says no to the Scooby Doo theory. She knows the monsters are only guys in masks.

Last week one night as I was putting her to bed she said. "I'm not going to big school and you can't make me." I said, "Yes you are and Yes I can." We decided to not talk about it anymore that night.

It's been very heavy on her mind. Last Monday they "promoted" at FKs and she moved to the coveted B Hall. They split up the class and Andrew (her best bud since the beginning) is the only regular in that class now. Her friend Mattie went to the other class.

This morning when I took her to class, we walked in and she said she didn't want to go (meaning Niangua) and started sobbing. Real heart wrenching sobs. I got all teary too. I tried not to but what can you do? I'm a weeper. Miss Chasity finally took her to the door to wait and wave at me as I drove off.

That was the worst crying she's done when I left since day one. It was a killer.

I figure tomorrow will likely be more of the same and I don't know what the heck will happen on Wednesday when I drop her off at Niangua.

We go tomorrow night for "sneak peek" and to meet her teacher, see the room etc. etc. etc.

I want to go with her.

I don't think they'll let me.

It sucks.

I talked to Mom this morning and told her what was going on and I told her I didn't remember my first day of school. She says I was rearing to go. I certainly don't remember it being traumatic and it obviously didn't scar me for life.

I hope this doesn't and won't either. It probably won't...much.

Mom said it was harder for her than me. Boy do I see THAT now.

If feel like I'm leading a lamb to slaughter. I want her to be confident and tough which of course she IS, but change is scary and this is her first big kid change that could set the tone for how she sees changes to come.

We went to Walmart yesterday and bought her school supplies, a new outfit and a new lunch box. That was the FUN part! Now comes the hard part... actually going.

I'm hoping she can eat lunch with Ashton our neighbor who she knows briefly and will be entering Kindergarten. Ashton's folks have the dairy farm next door and about a million kitties. Grace LOVES those cats. They will at least have some things in common. I'm also going to ask if she could nap with the Kindergarten kids. I don't know if they'll let her or not but it's worth a shot.

We'll know much more tomorrow night I hope.

It may be a long Tuesday night and Wednesday.

Change is good, right?